Friday, March 25, 2011

Keeping up Appearances


Everyday we do it, everybody does it. We have to seem to be coping, to be happy, to be successful, to be in love, to be better than. It's so tedious and tiring, I decided a while ago to try not to.
The thing is, that no matter how much you may try to keep up appearances, people will try to find a crack, a flaw, something to talk about, something to point fingers at.
So why bother? Let's all make our bank statements public, let's publish our credit card bills and let everyone see that, as they suspected all along, we can't actually afford the car we drive, the watch we're wearing or the holidays we go on.

Or maybe... we can actually afford all those things. AND in fact, what we spend our money on is entirely our own business! And people who have time to talk about what others spend their money on, obviously don't have enough money of their own to keep themselves occupied!

But I digress; distracted, obviously, by idle gossipers. What I really wanted to comment on is the keeping up of appearances in the health department. KZN in particular, SA in general. It seems, unfortunately, that in this democracy we want to run in fancy shoes before we have learned to crawl on our hands and knees. What we seem to forget is that we can't be good at Calculus if we don't understand simple arithmetic.

This week Prince Mshiyeni Hospital in Umlazi, acquired a fancy new machine for the diagnosis of tuberculosis. This, of course, makes me very happy. TB is a real and devastating problem in SA and a huge burden on the health system.
The Minister of Health was at the hospital yesterday to visit and probably take some pictures... with the new machine.

What I'd like to ask though, is this: How come we have money for a fancy machine to diagnose TB, which probably cost millions (I'm guessing here, I welcome correction) but we sometimes run out of drugs to treat the TB? And, why can we not employ more people to provide proper treatment for TB?
We tell mothers that they have the choice not to breastfeed if they're HIV positive and will be provided with formula for 6months, but then the clinic runs out of formula and the mother can't afford to buy it herself.
We buy expensive ventilators for hospitals, but there is no cartridge for the blood gas machine, so it's impossible to ventilate anyone who needs it, because we can't monitor them appropriately.
We buy expensive CT scan machines, but we don't have money to employ someone who knows how to use it and interpret the pictures it takes.
Why is it that when elections are approaching, we strategically have pictures in the news showing expensive new TB diagnostic machinery at a busy hospital in a huge township with a huge voting population? And what happens when gloves run out at the hospital? And what about the child who dies from bed sores because the nurses are overworked and unable to provide proper care, because posts are frozen due to lack of funds?

But don't worry about that child, I'm sure his family couldn't afford him anyway. Rather take a picture for the newspaper: two big shots shaking hands in front of a shiny new machine, keeping up appearances.


Saturday, March 19, 2011

Meeting New People


I must admit, at the age of 28, I still find meeting new people daunting. I don't have the most shining social skills, I feel awkward, so then I tend to be very quiet and aloof and people usually think I'm not very friendly or fun and have no inclination to get to know me better.
Well, okay, the truth is that I'm not very friendly, I don't like people and I detest people who are overfamiliar. The only people I don't really get nervous about meeting is fellow doctors. Most of them are awkward too and I feel like I can see straight through them.

It is a fact that I meet new people every single day at work, but those are patients and it's not on equal footing: I usually have their file in front of me with all of their personal info in it, I start the conversation, I can ask any question I feel is necessary and I can usually end it when I feel.

This week I met something of a South African celebrity; no one on a global scale, but he'd definitely be recognizable walking down almost any street in SA. I'm by no means a screaming fan, and I was not looking to take pictures with said celebrity or anything like that. But I was really ticked off, because when he found out I was a doctor, he called me Miranda Bailey from Grey's Anatomy!

Now, if a fellow colleague had likened me to Miranda, I would've taken it as a compliment and maybe even blushed. As a doctor she's competent, dedicated, an overachiever. I would let her treat me anyday and I'd be honoured to have her as a teacher.
But to non doctors she's scary, short and fat! That's not how I see myself. In the moment I gave a half sarcastic chuckle, like: "You're not serious..."
But I went away wondering if that's the kind of first impression I give: DON'T MESS WITH ME!! Even when I'm not trying.

Anyway, my excuse was that besides being generally awkward, I was going on 40 hours without any real sleep. That excuse always holds up!!

And today I'm in Cape Town, I think it's 33 degrees, no wind, dry. It's easy to understand how fires start on days like this! I'm off to a wedding in a little bit. The only people I know at the wedding are the bride and groom and the bride's family a little... Maybe I can start conversations using my moves on the dance floor??? ...Not very likely!



Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Blogosphere

Blogging seems to be the latest fashion, everyone's doing it, there are blog awards and blog parties. But there is so little that I see out there which I can identify with, that might be why I follow so many.
Questioning my motives for blogging... wanting to be heard I suppose...

There are a few blogs I really like:



And of then there's Dagarna med O
But it could be that I'm biased on the last one, because Ofelia is the cutest little baby and also my friend's niece.

I think what I really like about them is that they only say something when they have something good to say. Most of the other blogs I read are just distractions, with occasional points which spark my interest or sometimes I may stumble upon another blog I really like.